Long time, no see...

Haha, I've been a bit bad about updating this.  I didn't quite drop off the side of the planet, I've just been wrapped in things here and there.  It was sort of funny reading the last post because since then my social circle has changed dramatically and I'm not AS loathsome as before.  Haha.

I met a girl at the Soul Allnighter that I posted before and she introduced me to a bunch of her friends, and ever since, I have spent pretty much every other weekend with them -- I have a great time, unfortunately, since they live about an hour away, it's not the most convenient situation for me. 

In terms of school, I'm doing okay, nothing much to report just a lot of reading and whatnot.  I actually should probably be doing more, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate.  Not so much because there are so many distractions as much as I'm finding it hard to really feel motivation to do much of anything.  It's really bad, I've become a bit lethargic -- perhaps even a tad disinterested.  I really need to change this attitude I've had for academics the past couple of months -- it's just that nothing is really capturing my attention.  One reason I think behind this is the fact that our classes are only once a week.  It's hard for me to keep my rhythm with a schedule like that.  I lack the discipline and willpower to show the same motivation to follow through with everything if I'm not constantly being pecked at. 

For the winter break, I went to Berlin to visit a friend of mine who went to the same high school.  Had a pretty good time, I wish I had more to report about it -- I was only there for about 4 days and didn't do anything really mind-blowing-ly impressive.  I spent New Years here in Bologna.  I wasn't feeling too well, but I went out anyway with a classmate.  Had a good time. 

Anyway, classes start again next week and I hope to rebuild my enthusiasm for classes -- finals start in a couple of weeks and I simply don't know what to expect.

I Just Wasn't Made for These Times (or I know that there's an answer!) (or perhaps... Every song on Pet Sounds)

SALVATION....

This is what I will be doing in the upcoming days/weeks...etc.

Wednesday November 5: Supergrass

FINALLY -----> Saturday November 8: ORIGINAL! Northern soulcialist all-nighter. Soul, original ska, rocksteady, mod '77 in entrambe le sale con i dj's della DTK + guests

Saturday November 29: THE FAINT

Monday December 15: DEERHOOF

I must admit, I've been in a foul mood lately. A total state of malaise. It's no one's fault but my own. I feel strange at school -- physically, emotionally, mentally; almost like high school. Don't get me wrong, I like everyone there, just that I don't feel like I fit and I don't know what it is that I'm looking for -- no one has been un-welcoming -- on the contrary, unlike high school, everyone has been friendly and inviting, it's just that I find so few people that 'get it'. If I want to have a conversation on politics or school, it's easy. But frankly, I'm bored with it -- I hate going to parties and the only thing I can find to talk about are classes and politics. It's funny because it's contrasts with my attitude back home where I had few outlets for academic peers that I could stand, but everyone who I did hang out with shared my sense of humor and style.

Style vs. Substance...style vs. substance...style vs. substance

Speaking of humor, here I feel like I have to censor myself or fear being taken seriously -- people seem to care about feelings and reputations; I guess I'm numb that way. I've always known that it's hard to find a happy medium. Here I feel so out of place. Yeah, it feels slightly akin to high school -- I've said it a few times before -- a) I don't fit in and b) I alienate those few who are close to me... all I need is c) to be in a crappy band playing crappy Joy Division covers, and the circle will be complete.

It worries be because I can see all of this having a negative affect on my school work. Everything on the periphery has been infringing on my ability to negotiate through life's obstacles. So much so that, considering everything in the background, the school work IS the easy stuff -- it's a constant and, to some calculable extent, I know what to expect and how to deal with it. I haven't been getting much sleep and I can't explain why. No matter how tired I am, I can't seem to go to bed before 2 and I always wake up at 8. zzz.zzz.zzz

Seriously Italy, What the Fuck?

Okay, as I mentioned before, my bike was stolen last weekend.

Yesterday I broke down and bought a bike, a shitty bike, but pretty much my only choice available. On the way to class today I was going up a bridge and one of the goddamned handlebars snapped the fuck off. I cut my finger and my shoulder fucking hurts now.

Yay!

Yum. ... I know it doesn't look that bad; this is actually well AFTER the deluge of blood spewed out and a bandage was applied.

My first bike, similarly, one of the pedals snapped off going up the same bridge just hours after purchasing it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a lone captain sailing a ship called Sanity in a sea of infinite bullshit. .

/not too pleased.

On the other hand, looking on the bright side (about an hour after I initially wrote this)

I took it back to the shop (all the way across town) and he's replacing the handlebars. I'm hoping this means that I will get handlebars made for an adult human, instead of an elf. I swear, I could only get my first three fingers around the damn handles.

**Edit

I went back to the shop around 5:30. The guy wanted to me to pay 10 euro for the "improvements" he had made. HA HA HA. I only wish I were joking.

I couldn't pay even if I had wanted to because I'm so broke, but go figure.

** Edit-Edit

It's been two weeks since this whole thing took place. A day after I had the handlebars replaced, I had to replace the tires, tubes and buy a pump...

A couple of days after that, the pedals started to move in ways they weren't supposed to move (as in... left and right) and the chain kept slipping so I stopped riding -- I didn't want to make my face a permament fixture on the sidewalk ...

You're taking the fun out of everything... making me run when I don't want to think.

My morale has just been boosted about 100%.  

Last week was the easiest/not so easiest week thus far.  Easiest in terms of academics, hardest in terms of everything in the periphery.   Oh well, George doesn't sweat the small stuff, and as they say, it's all small stuff. 

Saturday morning my bike was stolen from in front of my apartment.  Both of my bank accounts were overdrawn because of a multitude of problems, I had to ask my mom to put some emergency funds into my account.  Financial aide had me going through hoops like a retarded monkey.

I didn't have any classes today, I just have a lecture this evening, a panel symposium deal on the current financial crisis.   Because most of the faculty are not from from the United States, so it should be interesting to hear things from their point of view.  

Anyway, today I had two missions... since I'm pretty much paralyzed without a bike (much like not having a car in Texas), I went out to look for a new bike...and to settle financial aid.  I went to the office and they said they had to talk to the university's finance officer to get my transfer approved since it was not on time, so I had to wait.  In the mean time I figured I'd just go find a bike.  There is a guy that everyone goes to, so I went to his shop.  Like all shops in Italy, the hours posted is just a guide to what COULD happen, so I got there when it was supposed to open and ended up waiting about 45 minutes before the guy got there.  Ended up paying 50 euro for a bike that's not as good as my old one.  I swear the pedals and handles are for elves or something.  No gears.   It's going to suck to go up the bridge on the way to my apartment, but oh well walking.  So, yeah, up to this point I was in a pissy mood.   Then I went to the financial aid office to check the status of whatever the fuck was supposed to go on.  Found out that instead of giving me the exchange rate that the loans were supposed to disperse at in September, they're giving me the current rate...which is good... since the dollar is performing marginally better than it had a month ago, something like 8% better, that means I get an extra 700 or so bucks.   Take that financial aid.

Now to blow the cash on honey, gold, jewels, money, women, wine, cars that shine

(I don't know what you're talking about, but I think I've got an idea)

 

(IN HEAVEN, YEAH!)

These idle hands do the devil's work here.

I passed my class.   Looking at it, I didn't take it as seriously as I should have -- I passed with a B, but that's not my style.  Nevertheless, I'm happy because it could have been much worse.

My first class starts tomorrow with the same professor for Macro.   On Wednesday I have my Russian placement exam.  I'm in a strange position -- the people who are taking the Russian class here are either extremely proficient or noobs.  I'm somewhere in the middle... I know enough to get around in survival mode in Russia and my reading isn't absolutely horrible.   So I'm not sure where they're going to put me.   We shall see.  I also have my Post-1945 class on Wednesday.  I started reading the material for it, and I have so far liked it.   Of course, I'm only about 20 pages into it, but still interesting.  On Thursday I have my european economic history class and on Friday, well, no classes until next week.  Rock and roll.   I'm happy with my schedule.  Extremely happy.  

That's about all I have.  

It's weird at this university -- you can literally stand anywhere in this building where there is a group of students or faculty and hear 4 different languages being spoken at any given time.  I can't tell what the group of students next to me are speaking.  I know it's Slavic, but I don't think it's Russian. They don't look Russian either. 

I'm starting to apply to internships.  It's crazy that I have to work right now to insure that i have something lined up for me in the summer.   Then again, I suppose I'm not stranger to this process, that's how I got here in the first place....just that there's so much going on.  I'm going to apply for the state department internship -- but on one hand I don't think I'm going to break my back to get it.  I hope I can get into a post in Russia or at the very least, Eastern Europe.  From my fellow students, I have come up with a list of leads if that doesn't pan out.  There is a serious wealth of connectivity here...Two promising leads is one for an NGO that raises aids awareness in Moscow.  It's not exactly my line of work, but it'd work.   I'm at in a tight situation with the type of work that I want to do because of the political situation.  Nonproliferation isn't exactly what the US and Russia wants to openly engage right now.   It's a shame, so much for progress. 

They Stuck Me in a Box in the Ground

The weather that we've had in Bologna for the past week can only be described as 'perfect'.   Absolutely.   Probably not breaking 75 all day...at night it probably hits the low-50s.  It has drizzled a couple of times, but for the most part, it has been clear all day.  Unfortunately, because of my studies, I haven't had much time to enjoy it.   Typically, I go to school around 7:30, arrive around 8.   I eat a pastry and drink some copy and work on my Italian homework.  Around 9, I have class and that goes on until 11.  Depending on the day, I'm either 'free' for the rest of the day or I have class again around 2.  The problem is that even on my free days, I have to take care of administrative duties.  Every Tuesday we have career development workshops that run an hour or two.  After which I usually have to prepare some stuff for either the next meeting or later on.  Tomorrow I have that, and I have some Italian immigration paperwork that I have to deal with.  That's going to be real fun.  The good news is that the pre-term is nearly over, only one more class and a test and we're done with it.  I got an 80 on my last test -- not bad considering how I studies -- I could have gotten a considerably better grade, but since the class is pass/fail and I'm only taking it to test my comprehension and refresh, I think it was a modest grade.  If I were cramming for it, I think I would be doing myself a injustice only because I know I'd forget it soon after the test -- in other words, it would be just for a grade -- that's not what I want to accomplish.

I've learned that living so far away from almost everyone else at the school has its advantages and disadvantages.  The advantages are almost one in the same with the disadvantages -- that is, I am not obligated to do anything or atleast, I don't feel like I am, to do anything that I normally wouldn't want to do (which is often the case, when you're a new group) but at the same time, I don't have the social bond that most people here have already developed with others.  Not a big deal, but yeah, sometimes it's a drag here if all I want to do is have someone to go get a beer with -- not that I'm not above drinking a beer by myself, it's just cool to get out and see people.  Sometimes I feel like that at home in San Antonio, especially lately -- it seemed like I could always go out and find people, now, or atleast, recently until I left, it felt a little tied to the apartment for some reason -- like going across town was some big inconvenience -- which it was, but it was hardly anything I would consider as being such, say... 3 years ago. 

Anyway, so here we are.  We begin to registering for classes sometime in the next week or so.  I'm really excited about that, but I still don't know which classes I'm going to take.   I know it's going to be a challenge, because a) it's Johns Hopkins b) unlike most grad programs out there, where nine hours is considered full-time, SAIS requires 12 hours AND proficiency in a foreign language, and if you're not proficient and have to take language class, that class is not included in those 12 hours -- so as you may guess, I'll be taking 15 hours of grad-level courses at a top-tier school.  Fun fun fun.  The nice things about it, though, is that almost all of the classes offered have something I hold an interest in, if at very least just marginally and the fact that, for the most part, most of the classes are only held once a week -- I am assuming that most of the time is going to be devoted to writing papers like it is in most grad classes.  But as you know, I prefer to write papers anyway.

So as to the 4 that I want to take, there are 3 that I know I'm taking for sure, and a set of 3 or so that I'm not 100% sure about. We'll see.  The way it works is strange -- I can take as many classes as I want, there is no limit -- they're all covered by tuition.  Really strange for me -- I feel like a kid in a candy store.  There are about 30 classes that they have available, and all but say... 3 of them sound interesting to me.  Perhaps I will list him here.  Erm... give me a moment on that.   

Here you go... whether you wanted to read it or not (I am actually using this to narrow down my choices):

• Red Bolded - Classes I am pretty sure I'm taking
• Bolded - Classes that are "wildcards"
• Strike Through - Classes I am pretty sure I'm NOT taking, have already taken, don't count, or can't because of scheduling conflicts
• Underline - Classes that I'm trying to avoid because they're early or on Monday.  Hahahhaha.  (noted exception:  Science, Technology and International Affairs)

Core Classes:

• Theories of International Relations
• America and the World Since 1945

International Economics

• Microeconomics
• Macroeconomics
• International Monetary Theory
• International Trade Theory
• European Economic History
• Statistical Methods for Business and Economics
• Corporate Finance
• The German Economy

European Studies

• Contemporary Italian Politics
• West European Political Economies
• The EU and Its Institutions
• European Foreign Policy
• Contemporary Russian Politics
• Italian Art History and Culture

International Relations

• Foundations of International Law
• Strategy and Policy
• International Political Economy
• Politics & Economics of International Energy
• Science, Technology and International Affairs
• Multiculturalism and the Human Rights of Women
• Liberal International Theory

American Foreign Policy

• Case Studies in US Foreign Policy

Western Hemisphere Studies/Latin American Studies

• A Survey of Modern Latin American Politics

International Development

• Introduction to Development

Middle East Studies

• Political Islam and Change in the Mediterranean Area
• Modernity & Nationalism in Egypt, Iran, & Turkey

So yeah, it looks like, as of this very moment, I am going to take America Post 1945, Macro, Russian Politics -- then it's a toss up between European Economic History; Theories of International Relations; and Science, Tech, and Int'l Affairs.  It's just a matter of deciding which one match my goals professionally and academically, as well as scheduling.  I could TECHNICALLY audit any of those classes, apparently. 

Out of the list, I want to take European Economic History the most; the trouble is that I don't really need it, it's just out of the three, it's the one that I find the most interest in.  It's also the most convenient in terms of scheduling.  Next up is the science one, I think that would help me a lot professionally, but academically I don't think it's necessary.  In terms of scheduling, it's the worst -- it's at the beginning of a very long day...at 8:30, which yeah, it's THAT early, but still, that would mean that I'd be at school from 8:30-5:00 on Tuesdays.  The last is Theories of International Relations, which is a Core requirement.  It would be nice to get it out of the way, but again, it's at the end of a long day (Tuesday is going to be my hell-day)...  I'm trying to avoid hell-days.  I've learned that taking to-moderate days is better than one long day, only because I end up being too worn out after the hell-day to do much anything the day after and my performance during the hell-day classes tends to suffer as well. 

In any case, given any of the wild cards, I will have Sundays and Mondays free and every other Saturday free as well (the class is only taught every 2 weeks, for 2 days)  If I don't pick up Eurpoean Economic History, that will mean that I'd have Thursday free was well (but it would mean that I would have a longer day on Tuesday ... or if I don't pick either of the two wild cards, Wednesday or Friday).  As you can see, this is a total game.

Anyway, that's what's going on here. 

I still have trouble sleeping... but I found a way around that without any sort of OTC drugs...

I love The Prisoner, but I swear, if I'm even barely tired, the show puts me to sleep -- something about the music or perhaps the themes -- it's too cerebral for me to keep up with all the subtleties.

I can't stand up, I can't cool down, I can't get my head off the ground

It's strange being in a school where I literally know about 90% of the people as opposed to being an anonymous face in a crowd, where, amongst the people I did know, I usually tried to avoid. That's wrong. I had plenty of good friends at UTSA, but there certainly people that I could care less to see.

Anyway. I'm exhausted, but the weather here is refreshing. It's somewhere in the mid-sixties. The sky is clear. I've had the same pizza three days in a row. Life is grand..haha.

I wish I could find a patch of grass to lay down and stare at the sky, something I found myself doing often at UTSA. I guess that's one disadvantage -- every inch of ground here is occupied by some structure, and albeit most of it very beautiful, I would love to see more green instead of the Bologna red that permeates throughout most of the city. I will admit though, it provides a beautiful contrast to the blue that paints the skies overhead.

I must go, I think it's time for a coffee. I've grown addicted. Mostly out of economics -- it's cheaper to get my caffeine high through coffee than my usual means... bubbly bubbly coke.

Speaking of which, I went to the grocery store to buy some coke. And by coke, I mean the South/Texas use of the term coke, as in anything superlatively sweet and carbonated. I saw something red and labeled 'Ginger'. I thought, 'Oh Awesome, some weird Italian gingerale' No. Not even close. Unless the Italian's impression of Gingerale is Bile and Vomit mixed with 7-Up and Red #4. It's rare that I'm disgusted enough to throw something like that out -- but I did. I'm usually quite adventurous when it comes to carbonated drinks, but that was too much. It went straight to the drain. The bottle is not a receptacle for the leftover grease from my white-trash Texan culinary endeavors...carbonate that and I'm sure you' get something more palatable (what a great idea!).

Anyway, so on and so on. Io Abito.